[Bishop's Fantasy?]
This is MY story and I'm sticking to it!Santa Sucks
2007-11-24
While reading another blog about Austrailia's choice to change Santa's "Ho! Ho! Ho!" to "Ha! Ha! Ha!", it occured to me that I'm completely offended by the whole concept of Santa Claus. I think it's wrong to tell children that the "good" kids get presents and the "bad" kids get lumps of coal. Based on my own personal experience, I've found that it just isn't true. I can rememeber one Christmas when I was in 6th grade, realizing that the financial standing of the parents had much more to do with what kids got for Christmas, rather than how they behaved.
My family never had much in the way of worldly possessions. We usually had enough to eat, though the food we ate wasn't extravagant by any means. There were weeks we'd have to go without (what I now consider to be) basic necessities, like soap & shampoo. My mom worked hard and tried to stay off welfare (an admirable attitude), but the money just didn't go far enough. Even still, I wasn't terribly concerned about it when I was little. I was more concerned with being good and doing well in school. I believed in the "Miracle on 34th Street". I hoped against the odds that there really was a Santa Claus who might actually bring me something special as a reward for being kind and conscientious. The more I listened to the kids at school, the more I realized how naive I was.
I went to school in a pretty small town where everyone knew everyone else. To make matters worse, it was a fairly affluent community. My family's financial situation was in stark contrast to that of the kids at school - something that became increasingly apparent, especially right after Christmas my 6th grade year. My mom and step-dad had gone to an auction at a close-out store in order to get Christmas presents. We mostly got odds and ends, but they were something new & different and it was better than nothing. I was fine with that until I got back to school and heard about the things my classmates had received.
It's notable that I call them classmates and not friends because these kids were nasty to me. They teased me mercilessly about nearly everything. My clothes weren't good enough. I didn't have all of the Lisa Frank stickers and pens and other cool gadgets the rest of the kids had. Sometimes, I'm sure I didn't smell the best because bathing properly is difficult when you don't have soap. I knew these weren't "good" kids based on how they treated me, yet somehow, they ended up getting things like designer label clothes and various electronic devices. I felt like I was a "good" kid. I was kind, despite how badly they treated me. I got good grades and helped out at home because my mom worked and needed me to, yet my "reward" wasn't nearly as extravagant. I think that was probably the first time I really felt ashamed of myself and my family.
I've learned a lot since then. I learned much of it in the couple of years that followed. The things those kids said to me hurt me terribly until I spent some serious time thinking about why it hurt. I realized that what they were saying about my clothes was true, but I also realized that my clothes didn't define me as a person. I had a choice about how I was going to behave, regardless of how much money my family had or how I was treated. Those lessons have served me well and I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't gone through those experiences. I'm OK with that, but I'm not OK with Santa Claus - especially in light of having heard the real message of Christmas - one of grace and love that can't be earned by being "good" or taken away when a person is "bad".
I teach my children that message and leave Santa Claus to the rest of the world. I teach them to be kind and respectful to the kids who believe in Santa, but I also teach them that Santa isn't real. I do take the good things out of the Santa message, though. I show them, by example, how to care for other people who don't have as much as we do. I don't call them "less fortunate" because I don't want my kids to think they're any better than anyone else. When we have a lot, we give a lot. A few changes in circumstance and we could very well be in the position of needing rather than giving. As a result, we have a ball shopping for an "adopted" family each year. We aren't wealt hy by any means, but we have a lot of love and it's only right to lavish it on others.
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Wordless Wednesday
2007-11-14
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Camelot
2007-11-04
I know where I was a year ago today. Wow, it's been a long year. Did any of that really happen, or did I imagine it all?6 Comments | Link to This | Back to top
Why I Want To Be A Nurse
2007-11-01
This assignment seemed simple enough; just explain the above statement. Even so, I've had a hard time getting started because I want this to be genuine and accurate. Mostly, I just want to communicate how the choice to become a nurse has been more of a process of discovery than a decision I made in a single moment. I've spent quite a bit of time getting my thoughts organized before I sat down to write. In doing so, I realized that it was the title that was tripping me up. I don't just want to be a nurse - I want to be an excellent nurse.
There are plenty of noble reasons for wanting to become a nurse, but not all of the reasons behind my decision were necessarily noble in the beginning. When I was researching nursing as a career option, I learned from friends that it's a profession where you spend a relatively short amount of time in school and get a fairly decent return on the time/money you spend - at least compared to some other vocations. I know nursing comes with flexible hours, good pay (for RNs anyway), medical benefits, and seems to be pretty well suited for a woman with a family. That's a pretty attractive package for someone looking to make the transition from full-time mom to mom/career woman.
All of that sounds really good, but my friends didn't neglect to tell me about the "cons", if you want to call them that. It's hard work. Extremely hard work - but then, so is mothering. Basically, good nursing doesn't seem much different to me from what I'm already doing as a full-time mom. There are definitely additional skills involved in nursing, and thankfully, new nurses are trained far more thoroughly than new mothers, but it seems to me that the basic premise is the same.
Once I got past the initial considerations, I began to wonder whether or not I'd be good at nursing. I realized that choosing a career based on weighing the "pros" and "cons" wasn't enough. I had to also determine how my personal strengths and weaknesses would influence the way I'd do my job. I went through a great deal of self-examination in order to see where my current skills might translate. My StrengthsQuest evaluation seemed to confirm much of what I believed about myself.
Time management, organization, prioritizing, perseverance, dealing with unpleasant odors & bodily excretions, and learning from experience are all a part of what I've done as a mother. I've had to figure out what motivates and what irritates for each child as an individual - and for me, as well. I've also had to factor in the physical, emotional, and developmental abilities of each one as I made decisions. I've wanted to do everything to the best of my ability because I care deeply about them, so I've tried hard to objectively examine whether or not the things I'm doing are effective. I'm learning that all of these skills I've taken for granted are strength and are directly relevant to the kinds of things a nurse does on a daily basis.
According to my StrengthsQuest evaluation, my top two strengths were "Input" and "Achiever". From what I understand, the "input" strength involves accumulating or collecting things, not necessarily tangible. In my case, it happens to be song lyrics and knowledge. I love to read and have interest in a wide range of subjects - something common to people with this strength. I know from our discussions in class that this trait will serve me well as a nurse. When reading about my #2 strength, I found that achievers tend to be very goal-oriented and driven to accomplish something each day. I can easily identify with that description. It's something that has served me well as a mother because I didn't have a clear-cut job description. It's been up to me to define my job and be self-motivated to improve. I think being an achiever has been advantageous in the past and I can see how a nurse would also benefit from this particular strength.
At this point, I'm fairly certain I'm capable of performing the duties of a nurse and do it well, but I feel like there's more to this decision than simply finding something I can be good at. After 9/11 and again after Hurricane Katrina, I found myself glued to the news coverage. Watching the news is a rare thing for me since I tend to become overwhelmed and depressed by the knowledge that they'll never run out of negative and devastating things to report. Despite that, I couldn't seem to turn the TV off.
The hurricane should have leveled the playing field and reduced everyone to thinking only about essential human needs. Instead, the social barriers seemed to become even more insurmountable to the point where people would rather die or watch others die than pull together. For me, it brings to mind the sinking of the Titanic. Obviously, that tragedy took place long before I was born, but, of the stories that have remained, the tales of bravery and heroism seem largely outnumbered by those of people who fought and kicked to survive at the expense of others. Maybe that's not accurate, but it's what I remember learning about the event, and it bothers me on a fundamental level.
So, what does a person do with those feelings? Well, for me, I can choose to hole up in my house and pretend like the rest of the world doesn't exist. Adhere to the compassionate conservatism approach where you simply say, "Everybody's Got Problems". It's true, and sometimes those problems are self-inflicted, but that hardly justifies burying your head in the sand. If the problems are left to grow, they'll eventually reach your doorstep. By the same token, I could become overwhelmed and paralyzed by the enormity of the world's problems. If I were to sit and watch CNN for any length of time, that's just exactly what would happen. I'd become so distraught that I'd wonder why I even bothered to get out of bed. Not exactly a desirable quality of life. So, what can I do to combat the despair?
I fully believe that everyone is connected to everyone else by the simple fact that we're all human. Circumstances in each individual person's life can be vastly different, but we're all born naked and we're all going to die. Not pretty, but true nonetheless. The only thing we have to work with is the time in between those two events. So, what am I going to do with my life? I've chosen to devote some of it to my kids - definitely a worthwhile endeavor, and not just for their benefit. They'll (hopefully) outlive me, so my legacy - for good or bad, will at least be partially carried on by them. I've impacted their lives and they will, in turn, impact the lives of countless people with whom they come into contact.
What about my own direct impact on society? I may not be able to change the whole world, but I think it's imperative to try to positively impact my own little piece of it. Living a meaningful life is something that's very important to me. There are lots of options, but I believe nursing is where I belong. I'm excited by the opportunity to work with individuals and families. I'm also excited by the vast number and variety of opportunities available, once I learn the basics.
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