[Bishop's Fantasy?]
This is MY story and I'm sticking to it!I'm Not Dead Yet, So I Must Be Getting Stronger?
2007-04-19
I managed to make it through another day. My son was late for school this morning because his alarm didn't go off and I over-slept too because my daughter had trouble sleeping last night. We got home late after church and she was way too tired to sleep soundly. I let her sleep with me after she woke up the second time. Big mistake because I never sleep well when she's with me. It might have something to do with the fact that she kicks like a mule in her sleep. I'm not being facetious - she actually kicks out with both feet just like a donkey. We get to sleep in a little in the morning, though, because my son doesn't have school and the girl doesn't have to be at preschool until 9. Yeah! Then I can go to Starbuck's without feeling guilty because I don't have yoga and the pool is closed.
I started sorting through things in my craft/sewing/computer room downstairs today. My friend Roxanne came over to help. I was glad she was here because I don't think I'd have been motivated to do anything on my own and, even if I had, I'd have sat there bawling instead of working. I did a little of that anyway. It was something stupid and seemingly insignificant that set it off. At preschool, they took little paper telephones and wrote the kids' phone numbers on them and laminated them so the kids could memorize their number. The teachers sent them home when they finished that project. It was in the room waiting to be filed in my scrapbooking stuff. Roxanne picked it up and I went from calm to hysterical within just a couple of seconds. We've had the same phone number for 10 years.
I'm not usually so sentimental, but my emotions are so close to the surface already and I just can't seem to get a grip. My whole life is changing and, unless I choose to get divorced in the next few weeks, I have little say in those changes. I don't know how I'm going to get through all of this without breaking down completely. With God's help? Is He really listening? Does He really care?
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