[Bishop's Fantasy?]
This is MY story and I'm sticking to it!Santa Sucks
2007-11-24
While reading another blog about Austrailia's choice to change Santa's "Ho! Ho! Ho!" to "Ha! Ha! Ha!", it occured to me that I'm completely offended by the whole concept of Santa Claus. I think it's wrong to tell children that the "good" kids get presents and the "bad" kids get lumps of coal. Based on my own personal experience, I've found that it just isn't true. I can rememeber one Christmas when I was in 6th grade, realizing that the financial standing of the parents had much more to do with what kids got for Christmas, rather than how they behaved.
My family never had much in the way of worldly possessions. We usually had enough to eat, though the food we ate wasn't extravagant by any means. There were weeks we'd have to go without (what I now consider to be) basic necessities, like soap & shampoo. My mom worked hard and tried to stay off welfare (an admirable attitude), but the money just didn't go far enough. Even still, I wasn't terribly concerned about it when I was little. I was more concerned with being good and doing well in school. I believed in the "Miracle on 34th Street". I hoped against the odds that there really was a Santa Claus who might actually bring me something special as a reward for being kind and conscientious. The more I listened to the kids at school, the more I realized how naive I was.
I went to school in a pretty small town where everyone knew everyone else. To make matters worse, it was a fairly affluent community. My family's financial situation was in stark contrast to that of the kids at school - something that became increasingly apparent, especially right after Christmas my 6th grade year. My mom and step-dad had gone to an auction at a close-out store in order to get Christmas presents. We mostly got odds and ends, but they were something new & different and it was better than nothing. I was fine with that until I got back to school and heard about the things my classmates had received.
It's notable that I call them classmates and not friends because these kids were nasty to me. They teased me mercilessly about nearly everything. My clothes weren't good enough. I didn't have all of the Lisa Frank stickers and pens and other cool gadgets the rest of the kids had. Sometimes, I'm sure I didn't smell the best because bathing properly is difficult when you don't have soap. I knew these weren't "good" kids based on how they treated me, yet somehow, they ended up getting things like designer label clothes and various electronic devices. I felt like I was a "good" kid. I was kind, despite how badly they treated me. I got good grades and helped out at home because my mom worked and needed me to, yet my "reward" wasn't nearly as extravagant. I think that was probably the first time I really felt ashamed of myself and my family.
I've learned a lot since then. I learned much of it in the couple of years that followed. The things those kids said to me hurt me terribly until I spent some serious time thinking about why it hurt. I realized that what they were saying about my clothes was true, but I also realized that my clothes didn't define me as a person. I had a choice about how I was going to behave, regardless of how much money my family had or how I was treated. Those lessons have served me well and I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't gone through those experiences. I'm OK with that, but I'm not OK with Santa Claus - especially in light of having heard the real message of Christmas - one of grace and love that can't be earned by being "good" or taken away when a person is "bad".
I teach my children that message and leave Santa Claus to the rest of the world. I teach them to be kind and respectful to the kids who believe in Santa, but I also teach them that Santa isn't real. I do take the good things out of the Santa message, though. I show them, by example, how to care for other people who don't have as much as we do. I don't call them "less fortunate" because I don't want my kids to think they're any better than anyone else. When we have a lot, we give a lot. A few changes in circumstance and we could very well be in the position of needing rather than giving. As a result, we have a ball shopping for an "adopted" family each year. We aren't wealt hy by any means, but we have a lot of love and it's only right to lavish it on others.
bxgladiator (2007-11-27)
yeah im glad ur teaching ur kids that lesson. i see you been thru alot when u was a kid.
Barnabus (2007-11-24)
I'm really glad the experience didn't leave you with a root of bitterness in your heart!! It's very hard to eradicate!! I had an aunt, and though they had everything, she was the most bitter person I've ever met or even heard about, her only 'life's' satisfaction was tearing down her husband, and anything and anyone who crossed her path...She died about 10 years ago...I doubt she will be found in heaven! and that's sad!!
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