[Bishop's Fantasy?]
This is MY story and I'm sticking to it!Feel My Pain!
2007-10-01
After today, I'm now positive I'm regressing! In the past 6 months, I've enrolled in school, applied for student loans, developed a persistent acne problem, and today - had a school physical, complete with booster shots. All of this from a new doctor.
I've been to doctor's offices enough to know what to expect. I signed in and filled out paperwork. I realized when I got there that I had to pee, so I asked the receptionist if they'd be wanting me to pee in a cup. Now, I know she's worked there longer than 10 minutes, yet she seemed a bit shocked by the blunt way I asked. Whatever. If I have to make a trip to the bathroom anyway, I might as well get the whole cup experience out of the way at the same time. It sure beats emptying your bladder, then feeling like you have to eek out enough of a sample later under pressure! I got the paperwork done, the urine sample deposited, then headed out to the lobby to wait some more. I'm pleased to report there was actually no waiting. The med tech was already calling my name as I rounded the corner. Of course, she was calling me by my given name (which I hate), so I had to correct her on that. She took it well.
First up on her list was the weighing and measuring. I said, "Yippee, my favorite! I'll bet you haven't heard that a dozen times today." She laughed, which was good. I now weigh almost 30 lbs less than what I lied on my driver's license!! I want to get bragging rights out of the way for that now because I worked damned hard to lose most of the weight, and because I'll be getting a new driver's license sometime in the next couple of weeks - possibly Thursday or Friday. Good thing, too, because my picture is beyond hideous. It looks like a mug shot for a redneck trucker woman being arrested for domestic violence against her husband. It's all because they stopped using cameras with flash bulbs. With the digital video cameras they use, there's no way to know the precise moment they're taking the picture and it's up to the "photographer" as to whether they warn you or not.
OK, survived the weigh in and the height measurement - I'm officially 5'3", but I'm not about to broadcast my weight. The doctor says it's healthy, but still about 20 lbs above ideal. I can live with that, considering I've lost a grand total of 70 lbs in the last 5 years in order to get to the weight I'm at now. I'm sure I'll still fluctuate, but I'm a lot happier now than when I crossed the 200 lb threshold! We went to our little room and, instead of being made to wait, the med tech stayed and talked to me while she entered my info into the computer. She asked questions where she needed to and made idle chit-chat - which beats the hell out of waiting alone and feeling like I've wasted most of my day. When she was finished at the computer, she gave me instructions to disrobe and don the ever-so-fashionable paper vest and lap covering (I was in for the annual pelvic exam as part of the physical). I could've been a good girl and followed instructions, but I said, "Would it be possible to meet the doctor for the first time before I get naked??"
It boggles my mind that routine and expedience has eliminated the human element in the medical profession. I'll bet, if they stopped to think about it, the people working at those offices would agree. I did get to meet the doctor before removing my clothes. He was very gracious and thorough - both in the questions, and in the exam. I try to be a good patient. I keep a sense of humour and stay pretty relaxed because I've been through it so much already. I told him I'd apologize for the visual assault when it came time to disrobe, but I figure he knew what he was doing when he decided to be a doctor, so he was on his own for that. He teased right back about my choice to become a nurse. I like that in a doctor. Someone who can think on their feet, spend a little time getting to know the patient, and not take themselves so seriously. That makes it a little easier to swallow when I realize I'm paying the dude to stick his finger up my butt....uh...I mean give me a rectal exam, which apparently becomes standard after you turn 30. So much for regressing all the way! At least I got a bugs bunny band-aid to cover where they drew blood!
Barnabus (2007-10-01)
if you were 200 and lost 70 that means you are 130 now!! Genius huh?? I won't have...and haven't had a rectal exam in well over 20+ years.
piper (2007-10-01)
acne?...must be caused by a miserable sex life...200#....you?...naw, never happaned
bxgladiator (2007-10-01)
glad your feeling better sweetie!!!
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