[Bishop's Fantasy?]
This is MY story and I'm sticking to it!Sentimental
2007-09-24
I thought I was doing so grand and then it hit me yet again. A friend called to tell me she'd seen the Bishop and his wife the other night when they were out to dinner. It sucked to hear that. I expected his life would just go on as it always had, but I still feel a tugging when I hear that it has. Maybe I should be glad he's out with his wife instead of with someone new. Maybe he meant what he said when he told me he loved me and that there would never be anyone else. I don't know why any of it even matters anymore. Perhaps the little stabbing pain I felt upon hearing about him was nothing - just a leftover remnant. Oh please! Who am I kidding?
I wanted him to love me. I still want him to love me. I want to know I made a difference in his life - a lasting impression. I don't want his life to really ever be the same because mine never will be. I haven't come all the way out of the depression. I haven't even been all the way through the process of dealing with the loss. Part of me - the irrational part that responds with protests of pain over hearing that he's out and about - says that he's still alive and kicking, so there's still a chance I could be with him. I don't know what that part is all about. I guess not everything has to make sense. I just don't want it taking over to the point where I get back to moping. Might be good for the Bishop's ego to know I'm still that affected, but it wouldn't be good for me to go through it all again. There are still plenty enough times when I wish he'd call and tell me it isn't easy. I don't need him to tell me he wants me back - just that it's no easier for him to get over me than it is for me to get over him.
bxgladiator (2007-09-25)
i feel your pain trust me. you already know i been thru this and still kinda am lol. it will get better sweetie!!!
Barnabus (2007-09-25)
Hmmmm do you suppose he is devoid of feelings and emotions? I don't think so...he did what he knew to be best for his family, but that doesn't affect ones feelings.. Maybe he's a good man at heart, and keeps his feelings close to his chest! I'm sure he wouldn't want you to know if he was still moaning over you!!right???
[ Back to top ]
Created with ShoutPost
